It's Just Life You'll Get Over It...
PAIN:
severe emotional or mental distress
This is only a definition from a dictionary. Pain can mean many different things to different people. To me pain is listening to "Jesus take the wheel" by Carrie Underwood. Pain is remembering the last few months. Pain is knowing that something is over and not being able to get the thought that it might continue to go away. Pain is wanting something so badly but not being able to do anything about it because no matter what you say or do it just won't work. Pain is knowing that you've made an ass of yourself. (Lol one of my many talents)
For me pain are these things but so much more. Like knowing that a small accident can affect so many others. My friend Emily wrote a short story that showed me that. Guys, I really want to apologize for my car wreck. I know it was an accident and I didn't mean to do it, but there are so many things that I could have done to prevent it.
Every single time I go to write I think about the problems in my life and how much I hurt, but I can't do that. These problems effect so many more people than just me. I've always known that but I guess it just now finally hit me.
This is extremely hard for me to admit, but this break up is extremely hard for me. So hard in fact that I'm blocking bits and pieces of the last few months from memory. Sammy and I realized yesterday that I don't remember what I did New Years. Lol oops I guess... The only things I know about that night are what Sam's told me and some stuff that I wrote in my journal about it (which we really don't need to go into those details lol it'll just make me sound pathetic). Anywayz I'm getting off track, the point is I'm starting to wonder how has this affected everyone else? What do Sammy and Meg think about it? I mean they're really close to Jenny too. Heck, What about Jenny? What's it like for her? I don't know these are just thoughts...
You know my entire life isn't pain and stress and anger. I do have fun it just normally gets weighed out by the bad. Lol Emily's been writing on her blog about some memories she has from camp last year. I read that and everything comes rushing back LOl. I think my favorite memory was when Joanna fell into the swamp that was awsome. OH!! or when Emily and I slept in the same bed because I let Kristen sleep in my bed and Emily decided that she wanted to sleep in our cabin. Levi found out the next morning and had to call Emily a slut for sleeping with me LOL.
OH or how about this year when I went to our christmas party at work LOL. Tammy still doesn't know that I stole some of her drink... Ok it was more like half a bottle, but still... and Amy found Andy.
I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail, but the night that Sammy, Jenny, Amber and I went to see a movie. Then Jenny, Sammy, and I went to Meg's house to watch Step Up... I had a blast that night... then again that's why the song from Carrie Underwood brings me so much pain.
What else? Umm... Well going to Florida was pretty cool. I got something for everybody, but I keep forgetting to give Megan what I got her and I did get Jenny something but I'm too much of a chicken to give it to her... so I think I'll mail it LOL... And I did see some pretty hot people on the plane ride down, but after that it was all old people. I seen/ saw a few things the makes me wanna gouge my eyes out. Yech!!! One last thing Meg... I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN FLORIDA!!!! Is that clear enough?
severe emotional or mental distress
This is only a definition from a dictionary. Pain can mean many different things to different people. To me pain is listening to "Jesus take the wheel" by Carrie Underwood. Pain is remembering the last few months. Pain is knowing that something is over and not being able to get the thought that it might continue to go away. Pain is wanting something so badly but not being able to do anything about it because no matter what you say or do it just won't work. Pain is knowing that you've made an ass of yourself. (Lol one of my many talents)
For me pain are these things but so much more. Like knowing that a small accident can affect so many others. My friend Emily wrote a short story that showed me that. Guys, I really want to apologize for my car wreck. I know it was an accident and I didn't mean to do it, but there are so many things that I could have done to prevent it.
Every single time I go to write I think about the problems in my life and how much I hurt, but I can't do that. These problems effect so many more people than just me. I've always known that but I guess it just now finally hit me.
This is extremely hard for me to admit, but this break up is extremely hard for me. So hard in fact that I'm blocking bits and pieces of the last few months from memory. Sammy and I realized yesterday that I don't remember what I did New Years. Lol oops I guess... The only things I know about that night are what Sam's told me and some stuff that I wrote in my journal about it (which we really don't need to go into those details lol it'll just make me sound pathetic). Anywayz I'm getting off track, the point is I'm starting to wonder how has this affected everyone else? What do Sammy and Meg think about it? I mean they're really close to Jenny too. Heck, What about Jenny? What's it like for her? I don't know these are just thoughts...
You know my entire life isn't pain and stress and anger. I do have fun it just normally gets weighed out by the bad. Lol Emily's been writing on her blog about some memories she has from camp last year. I read that and everything comes rushing back LOl. I think my favorite memory was when Joanna fell into the swamp that was awsome. OH!! or when Emily and I slept in the same bed because I let Kristen sleep in my bed and Emily decided that she wanted to sleep in our cabin. Levi found out the next morning and had to call Emily a slut for sleeping with me LOL.
OH or how about this year when I went to our christmas party at work LOL. Tammy still doesn't know that I stole some of her drink... Ok it was more like half a bottle, but still... and Amy found Andy.
I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail, but the night that Sammy, Jenny, Amber and I went to see a movie. Then Jenny, Sammy, and I went to Meg's house to watch Step Up... I had a blast that night... then again that's why the song from Carrie Underwood brings me so much pain.
What else? Umm... Well going to Florida was pretty cool. I got something for everybody, but I keep forgetting to give Megan what I got her and I did get Jenny something but I'm too much of a chicken to give it to her... so I think I'll mail it LOL... And I did see some pretty hot people on the plane ride down, but after that it was all old people. I seen/ saw a few things the makes me wanna gouge my eyes out. Yech!!! One last thing Meg... I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OR ANYONE IN FLORIDA!!!! Is that clear enough?
posted by Jensen at
3:38 PM
3 Comments
