Why do I always let myself down?

You know you are suppose to be able to trust yourself, but I can't even do that... I can't keep my own secrets... I can keep everyone else's, but I can't keep my own... what is up with that? I can't hold myself to anything... I think it has to do with that i don't care about myself mentality. I mean just the other day I told one of my best friends I was falling for them... I didn't want to do this, but I let myself get talked into it... Now how the heck I let that happen I won't know... I guess she's just too over powering lol jk. I didn't wanna say anything because she's already in a relationship and I don't need to cause anymore problems... God I felt like such an idiot though. I'm not normally the type that goes bold and wear's their heart on their sleaves. I couldn't believe I actually said it. But what was even more unbelievable is it didn't affect our friendship, heck i think it even made us that much closer... I mean sure what I told her was true... But I was expecting it to make our friendship more akward then it was earlier. I'm actually ok with the way things are though... I'm kool with her knowing as long as she knows and anyone else who has figured this out knows that I'm not trying anything ever! ~SNAP~

P.S. Careing about your friends and being their for them when needed does not count as an f'in passion in life... Oh and It's always my fault lol (I stuck that in there just to piss you off Meg and yes Sammy I know you're not laughing lol)