Heart of Stone No More...

You know ever since the sixth grade i haven't felt a normal state of emotions. For those of you who don't really understand this let me explain... Umm... ok so most people feel all kinds of emotions like jealousy, happiness, sadness, anger, pain, humiliation, and like a million different other emotions that i can't think of off the top of my head. I on the other hand would only experience anger, humiliation, pain, and very rarely sadness... In other words I had a heart of stone... I was once told that when we do something wrong, we feel guilty about it and its like a star that has been thrown into your heart. You do that thing again and the star twists, hitting you with another point. Every time you do that one thing the star twists, hitting you with a point, creating that pang of guilt. But if you do it enough times the points will wear down and eventually you won't be hit by that guilt anymore you are no longer effected by it. I think that's what happened to me in a sense. I had been through so much emotional stress when I was younger that nothing could reach me anymore. Not even true happiness. I just couldn't feel it anymore. I first notice that something was wrong when the twin towers were hit. When I found out what happened i didn't react like everyone else... I didn't care... It didn't bother me whatsoever... and that scared me. I was hopping that i'd snap out of it but I didn't... it just got worse. I put up a front... So people couldn't see what I really was... Nobody could see through my front... not until this year... Derika was the first to start seeing through it... which actually helped me take down the fronts. Then I met Sammy, Megan, and Jenny... and something clicked. I'm not sure what it was but something clicked and I was swamped with all this emotion. I cared about almost everything... Everything effected me from my friends problems to things that barely had to do with me. Sure I still feel like i use to, "stone hearted", but its not as bad as it use to be. Im alot happier then I use to be... and i have my friends to thank for that.
well now that ive rambled on and on i better go...
SNAP